He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you never un-have a 4some
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
