you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
