their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think I am morally bankrupt
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
