I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
