The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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