Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
