WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
