Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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