ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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