Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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