i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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