And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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