Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
