Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
