He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
