he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
