My first STD was from a foam party
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
