I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
