Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
