Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
