nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
