margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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