He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My ass is underappreciated
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
