the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
