Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This baby is an asshole
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
