I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
