we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
