Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize