I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your dad touched me again.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
