I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
