Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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