Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
smell my finger.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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