I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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