Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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