I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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