My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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