I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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