I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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