Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
