I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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