You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
