The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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