Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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