I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
