He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
