is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
