I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
