i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
