I want to stick my p in your. b.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
