His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
